- Remember that all families are screwed up - it's just a question of how. As a parent, it's not all your fault!
- Being a kid is really tough. When one of yours presses one of your buttons, try to haul out some empathy before responding.
- Make the effort to maintain and nourish family connections.
- Sit down and eat together at least once a day.
- Notice your tone of voice as you talk to your kids.
- Remember that every kid is unique and special - your own are no more so than anybody else's..
- With appropriate input from your kids, come to agreement on the family rules - and stick to them.
- Get in the habit of holding family meetings before making important decisions. Let your kids know what the issues are, and listen to and consider their feelings and ideas.
- Help your kids keep and train pets.
- Remember that family is the bottom line.
- Love your kids, even if you don't always love their behavior. Separate their behavior from their unique human potential.
- Attend a family constellation workshop so you get a better idea of how patterns from the past influence all families.
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- Invade your kids' privacy. You don't have to know everything that's going on in their lives. If you feel a situation calls for an invasion, be absolutely certain it's warranted before moving in.
- When your kid does something you don't like, don't respond by acting like another kid.
- Overparent. Remember that your kids are not you! Give them space to be themselves.
- Become too busy to enjoy your child rearing time. Bringing a new human into the world, and raising it to adulthood is the most important thing you'll ever do. And the opportunity to child-watch is the greatest gift you'll ever get. Savor every moment because it'll be gone before you know it.
- Treat your adult children as if they were still children.
- Not train your dog. If a dog misbehaves, maybe it's your fault. You can learn a lot about raising kids from training a dog.
- Never cut off communication with a family member because of what you are imputing to them.
- Don't get stuck repeating the same mistakes your parents and grandparents made.
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